It’s not uncommon for couples to worry about whether or not they’ll be able to get pregnant quickly or get pregnant at all ,” says sex therapist Ian Kerne r, Ph.D., author of She Comes First . “Anxiety generally gets in the way of pleasurable sex, so the shift from sex for pleasure to sex for baby-making can be difficult.”
That said, trying to get pregnant doesn’t have to make you both crazy. “Making sex fun during this time can help you both relax, decrease stress, and improve your relationship overall,” says licensed marriage and sex therapist Kat Van Kirk , Ph.D.
Try these recommended tips to keep things hot during the baby-making process:
Commit to a 7-Day Sex Challenge
Here’s the deal: Ovulation typically lasts for 12 to 48 hours, but you’re potentially fertile for up to seven days because sperm can survive for five days inside of you. A drugstore pee strip test can tell you when you’re ovulating. Once you figure it out, commit to a different theme each night that week, says Kerner. For example:
Monday: Role play
Tuesday: Bust out new lingerie
Wednesday: Have sex anywhere but the bedroom
Thursday: Do it blindfolded
Friday: Watch porn and reenact your favorite scene
Saturday: Send dirty texts to each other all day
Sunday: Make 30-minute massages part of your foreplay
Obviously you can’t make every time between the sheets the Best. Sex. Ever. But you can try to create extra-steamy moments around the time you’re ovulating , says Kerner. That way, you can look back and remember the night your child was conceived, Kerner explains, instead of “um…we had sex that night, right?”
Try New Positions Every Time
Get a sex positions book or bookmark these 36 sex positions you have to try at some point in your life . Then commit to trying out a new move every time you get busy, Van Kirk says. (To heat things up even more, check out these organic lubes from the Women’s Health Boutique .)
On small pieces of paper, write down your favorite sex moves, places to have sex, and sex toys or products that you own. Have him do the same. Divide the slips of paper into jars for each category: moves, places, and toys.
And, hey, if this just happens to occur when you’re ovulating, so be it.
Just remember: Baby-making sex can quickly feel like a chore, so don’t try to force it when you’re not feeling it. It’s OK to come back to it tomorrow and start fresh, says Van Kirk. And, above all, don’t stress about the process. “Decide to stop worrying about whether you’ll get pregnant and just focus on the fun,” Kerner says.